The Concept Plague (Kinda like the Fame Monster only less whorish and exaggerated)

Warning: The following article is a re-education for all music “artists.”

By J.Starr

            I’ve noticed a tide starting to rise up in Rock music as of late, a vicious, grotesque plague flowing like a putrid blood parasite through the deformed veins of a Frankensteined genre turning its victims into helpless, zombie-like leapers. It resembles Rock but it’s not. It’s nothing even close.

It creeps up on its victims slowly, like a rolling fog and seizes their ears, beating them to within an inch of their lives. The plague I am speaking of friends is concept albums and they are slowly destroying your musical taste.

            For some reason every “artist” currently in existence believes they possess the balls to make a concept album. It blows my mind that these bands think that they can just whip a concept out of their ass and it will be good.

Having a concept album in your catalog is a privilege. It's something you have to earn. It must be attained through years of dedication and abuse (drug, sex and/or alcohol) on the road. You have to have a string of both commercially and critically successful albums. You have to solidify yourself in the Rock world as an important band and most importantly you have to be simultaneously charismatic and enjoyably pleasing from a listening standpoint whenever playing live. A Stones cover also doesn't hurt. You can't just whip your dick out on the table on the second album and you definitely can't fuckin do two concept albums in a row. That’s a big Rock faux pa. Now with that being said of course, there are exceptions to all these rules. Just for example Pink Floyd but Floyd is always an exception.  

            The Beatles revolutionized the idea of the concept album with their 1967 masterpiece Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. An album so critically hailed by listeners and musical historians alike that I don't really have to say anything about it. It then moved on to Pink Floyd and Queen with The Wall and A Night at the Opera collectively. They ushered the concept album in to the 70's. In the 80's we saw an almost complete loss of the concept album. The 90's didn't yield much either. Then in 2004 it happened.

            Green Day was one of the bands at the forefront of the 90's rock scene. They helped define the 90's musically and socially. They weren't the greatest musicians or singers, but they simply wrote good fucking music and that's exactly what made them so great. They are also awesome live, which, as we've already learned, is a key ingredient to making a concept album. It is fair to say that Green Day earned their concept album.

Late in the 90's their music was still successful but they looked as if they were heading towards the end of their career. Then in 2004, out of nowhere, just when we thought they were done, they reinvented themselves and released a thirteen track gutsy Punk Opera entitled American Idiot and suddenly the concept album (along with the current Rock scene) was revitalized. The album its self is actually not on my all time favorites list, however I did like a lot of the songs and I think it was sonically amazing and completely necessary for the time. Mui bien boys.

            Unfortunately it was also the hit of crack that killed the Amy Winehouse. What, too soon? If you don’t know what that is, it’s kinda like the straw that broke the camel’s back only extremely drunk and loud…and British…and if you don’t know what loud is, it’s what happens when black people talk…hmmm, I must be black…moving on. All of the sudden every shitrock band in the world was like "Hey I got an idea. Let’s make a concept album. Green Day did it, why can’t we?" Oooh oooh, I know this one, pick me, pick me, Is it because you fucking suck balls? Could that be it?

There were some concept albums that were good at the time though. One was monumental and equally as good as American Idiot. It will be discussed now. Pay attention “artists.”

            Just two years after the release of Idiot in 2006 My Chemical Romance released The Black Parade and it was a musical milestone. It is on my all time favorites list. I love this album. It is so Beatles-ish and delicious to the point of near perfection. Every song is amazing musically and lyrically. It is, and I don’t use this term like every other fuckin hack critic does, genius.

2010 vomited out The Suburbs by Arcade Fire. It was alright but overrated. Linkin Park released A Thousand Suns recently. It was also alright. I was proud of them for making something different I guess. Although I feel a more appropriate title would have been Chester Bennington and Mike Shinoda play and sing everything and still try and call it Linkin Park.

Alter Bridge released their third album entitled AB III. Clever title there guys, brilliant, really. This album was a waste of time and shouldn’t have even existed. Not doing anymore albums, however, is a great decision; I support you fully guys, reforming Creed and releasing a new album though, horrible idea. You’re too old, that whole sub genre has died, just stop. Dear Mark Tremonti, You’re gonna lose your guitar hero card if you don’t stop releasing albums full of fecal matter. 

Every time I fart there's some new artist thinking that they can write a concept album. The fact is: it’s killing me. I’m going to die if it doesn’t stop happening. My doctor told me I have 10 albums to live. It's also quite annoying.

            You know, it's a sad day in music when artists like Kanye West and Kid Cudi are releasing concept albums and I am using the term artist loosely. I mean what's next a Lil Wayne concept album? I'm sure it will be called My Life: Codeine and Diabetes or something stupid like that. All we need now is some trashy southern 70's rock band that nobody wants to hear new stuff from, make a new album and embarrass the entire southern portion of the country by calling it something completely Redneck and ignorant like God and Guns, oh wait Lynyrd Skynyrd did that already, sorry I forgot. I'm sure CMT's ratings shot up for a few months on that one though. They left out Nascar BTW. I mean God and Guns? That says it all doesn’t it. “That’s all we care about roun’ here, Gawd and Guns. We capitalize the word Gawd and the word Guns cause to us they’re equal. Hell, God and Guns go together like Copenhagen and Dr. Pepper, like missing teeth and tube tops.” Fuckin rednecks. I don’t know who’s worse as a culture Rednecks or Blacks. Dear God!

            Why don't these artists get it? Having a few hits does not qualify you as being good enough to write a concept album. The concept album is an art form unto its self and you are not a good enough artist to do it, so save yourself the critical and musical mortification, yeah look it up bitch, and stop while you’re behind.

            I neglected to mention Songs for the Deaf by Queens of the Stone Age from 2002. Fantastic album, especially if you’re consuming Shrooms. I wouldn’t know from personal experience I just know Josh Homme loves ‘em. I would like to try them though.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go smoke a cigarette. I love smoking after I fuck someone.

Thank you! Goodnight!

My Chemical Romance: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys

Hello and welcome back to another exciting semester of Helter Skelter. Yes, yes, thank you, thank you, I know I'm good, I hear it too much really, be seated please. It is a new year and with it is a whole new set of albums for me to discuss at ridiculous length when no one cares anyway. I am your host J.Starr. First I would like to say I hope you had a very special Christmas. I know I had lots of fun. Next I would like to discuss our future. Next month I will be reviewing Cake's new album. I have not heard much about it yet, but I guess we will find out next week.

            The Foo Fighters have a new album coming out this year. The album which is reportedly scheduled for a spring release will be produced by famed Rock Producer Butch Vig. There is no official title as of yet but the rumors are saying that it could be called Back + Forth. The last time Vig worked with Davey was on Nirvana’s Nevermind. Anyone that knows anything about Rock music can tell you that that turned out quite well. Grohl has promised that the album will be rockin all the way through. He even went as far as to say that there isn't a single acoustic guitar to be found anywhere. On top of it all Krist Novoselic will reportedly be playing bass on a couple of tracks. Obviously I am excited a bit.

            Now for the current review. Gerard Way and the rest of the boys in My Chemical Romance have offered up something special with their latest concept album entitled Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys. Yes another concept album has made its way to the masses. It's alright though it's My Chemical Romance. They actually don't suck so they’re allowed to make concept albums. The only problem is that every album they've ever made has been a concept album. I would like to hear what their normal sound is. Also, it's hard to review concept albums because if you hear a song that sucks, you don't know if it's because the song is really crap or because it's suppose to sound like crap because that's the concept. Moving on...

            The bowl of anthemy, futuristic, sci-fi filled goodness that is Danger Days is Chalked full of high energy punk rawness and sexy emo swagger. The music has an eccentric mix of synth, rave beats, gritty guitar tones and of course Gerrard's emotion filled vocal melodies. As far out as this David Bowie-esque album is, the songs are still able to maintain all the catchy hooks that an emo teen loves to sing at full volume, while driving around in a Wal-Mart parking lot with her friends.

            The entire album is sung from the persona of the Killjoys, a Rock band from a future Los Angeles. Honestly I don't think I would buy a Killjoys album. Don't mistake me the album is good. I mean there is nothing inherently wrong with it. The music is good. I would have like to have heard more guitars but at the same time I understand why there weren’t crazy amounts of guitar and that's alright, it fits the concept. The lyrics, as with all MCR lyrics were absolutely first rate. The production was also spectacular. MCR has a real talent for being able to build tension and create emotion and drag you along with them all the way through to the end of each song. That's a great thing and it's what makes me love them as a group.

            Danger Days wasn't groundbreaking, but it wasn't a disappointment either. In the current music world that we live in we need bands like MCR to keep making albums in order to sustain a fallen generation of Rock music. The current Rock scene is so saturated with an abundance of talentless musicians. It's sad and I hate to keep saying it, but it's so desperately true. The Pop world isn't respected at all anymore. It use to be a little bit, now it's nothing. The current Pop trend is dance music and as my good friend Slash reminded me on Twitter, the last time this happened it was called Disco and it killed Rock music. Thank God bands like Gun's N Roses and Metallica came out and saved Rock. …And now back on topic...

            MCR's last album The Black Parade was absolutely killer and holds a very special place in my heart. It was brilliant and it made me believe in Rock again. I would even go as far as to say that it makes my top 20 list. I didn't have the same experience with Danger Days unfortunately and that's alright. I knew Gerard and the boys would have to write something new and different at some point.

***

3 out of 5 stars

            To all my readers, which I'm sure is probably no one, I don’t really care, thank you for reading. I'll see you next month, I'll bring Cake. Until then...

Arcade Fire - The Suburbs

Album: The Suburbs

Artist: Arcade Fire

Bouncy retro guitars and groovy bass rhythms, beatles-esque chord progressions, mind drifting synthesizers and panicky thought provoking lyrics dominate the landscape of this 2010 concept album by the odd Canadian Indie rockers Arcade Fire. Although aren’t all true Indie bands this way?

My wife made me listen to this band. Sadly I have been a little too preoccupied with them since. In retrospect, a full in depth examination is inherently necessary in knowing whether they are truly talented or just some new hot Indie band. I “picked up” their newest album The Suburbs yesterday and gave it the standard headphones-only listen. The following is my analysis.

The first song instantly hits you, pulsing with its hooky bouncing piano and guitar in an intensely happy chord progression. This song, called The Suburbs, is absolutely great. It is easy to see why it is such a popular single on the charts right now.

The background synthesizer strings seem to be constant throughout the album. They bleed over into track two as well as most of the other songs and they only seem to lull for a while. The synth sets an eerie mood that overcasts the happy jump of the chord progressions. I like this technique. The shaky rhythms rival the pace of a feeble old man trying to run. This combination adds more dimension to the music, which makes it sonically pleasing in a fuller sense. It also makes it the perfect background soundtrack to your day to day.

The lightly distorted vintage guitars caress the ear and never quite let you go on track three. The harpsichord and weird progressions on track four make it a highlight. They seem to build tension with the progression. Tension is always good.

Track five is like a transcendentalist acid trip into slow continuous dementia. Congrats to the great northerners for achieving this. Track six has a “U2” vibe and the best lyrics on the album while track seven is like a radio add in Hitler’s twisted Reich Hell. With all the repeating guitar chords, synth and high female voice this song makes for a darkly lucid dreamscape.

Track eight continues the lucidity only this time with a prominent male voice. Track nine has a Tom Petty feel to it. Maybe I just don’t get it as the youngins would say but this song just lacks to me. There is not enough there for me. Track ten is straight up old school 70’s style grungy garage rock and I love it. It totally makes up for track nine. Maybe that is why they placed it there? Hmm.

Track eleven is just slow and boring. Track twelve is awesome. It starts with just acoustic guitar and drums then a piano and some synth (what else) join in. the song is great the whole way through and never loses the listener. I love the piano and weird guitar leads on this one.

Track fourteen is one of the best songs on the album everything about it is great. It actually sounds remarkably similar to ‘We can Work it out’. It is absolutely a highlight. 

Another song that hits you into wake rather quickly is Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains). Régine Chassagne’s vocals sear into your mind on contact. I also love the heavier bass beat and the weird 80’s pop synthesizer on this track. The synth on this one sounds like Cars by Gary Numan. The last song is an interesting outro to the album, but slow and I was always told to end with a bang.

Overall the album is pretty decent for a modern band and very decent for an Indie band. A lot of the bands these days do not have a large amount of talent beyond being able to play an instrument and sing. It is nice to see a band come out and be this daring. It is pretty amazing when more than half the songs on an album are bearable beyond one listen. Thank you Arcade Fire. On the contrary I have decided to give this album 3 stars.

Is it better than any Miley Cyrus album out to date? Absolutely. Is it as good as ‘Never Mind the Bollocks’ or ‘London Calling’? Absolutely not. The Suburbs can easily fit into the top 10 for the year but soon it will fade away and everyone will forget it. In a couple years some “new” band with some “new” look will come out and all the preppy kids that are dressing Indie right now will be forced to change yet once again. Have fun with that, guys. Until next time, Seacrest out!

Linkin Park - A Thousand Suns

Band: Linkin Park

Album: A Thousand Suns

            As much as concept albums have left a bad taste in my mouth lately, I have chosen to review Ten Thousand Suns, the newly lotted fourth album from Linkin Park.

            Now if you do not know who Linkin Park is, it is proably safe to say that you have been living under a rock for the last decade and you need to be debreifed immediately. Over the last ten years LP has accomplished a feat none of their RapMetal contemporeries (Limp Bizkit, Korn, Ect.)  seemed to be able to attain. So much so that they managed to shed that fading genre and transform themselves into a serious Rock act and just so we are clear, we are talking about Rock in the modern sense of the word, not the classic Stones type standard Rock and may I say that this fact does not lessen LP as a band at all. To date Linkin Park has sold more than 50 million albums worldwide. They are one of the top acts in both the Rock world and music in general.

            Being a substantial fan of the boys I was a bit enthusiastic about their new offering. Then I heard it was going to be a concept album and my hopes dampened. The news that it was going to be an Electronica styled album did not apease me either. I was confident in the boys though because of who they are, plus Rick Rubin produced it so it has to be good right? They had shaped my musical outlook when I was young. I love the simplicity of their first two albums. It is always amazing to me how they possess the rare ability to mix beauty with madness, mosh-pit-inspiring breakdowns filled with dethly screams and poetic soulful singing and still make something that is completely desirable in every way.

            Even though I doubted them, they managed to pull it off once again and make a good album in music world filled with mediocre bands. 

            The album starts with an intro entitled The Requiem. What sounds like a lone piano announces the beginning then bass bumps and a cascading guitar sound then a beautiful digitalized child's voice comes on singing a chorus. It's a beautiful voice. This intro fades into the first of many interludes. This is one of the few problems I have with the album. There is five interludes on the album and thats five interludes too many. It would have been ok for their to be one or two interludes, but five is just too many. The album has 15 songs and the five interludes plus the intro means there is only nine real song on the album. That would be my second complaint. Too few songs.

            The first song that sticks out from the bunch is "When They Come For Me". Mike Shinoda's rapping abilities are much like that of a fine wine or beautiful woman, they just keep getting better with age. Chester Bennington's vocals at the end of the song are perfectly placed. The privelidge of having two extroardnarily vocalists is something LP does a good job of taking advantage of.

            Chester shows  us the vast uniqueness of his voice in synth filled anthem "Robot Boy", while "Waiting for the End" leaves you chanting in rythem with Shinoda mellowing out to the quiet verses brought to you by Chester. I love his parts in this song. He makes you feel every word he sings. They are so beautiful and extremely catchy and at 3 minutes and fifty-one seconds it is not too long either. This is a very good song with powerful songs.

            "Blackout" has a very jumpy 80's style pop song feel then Chester angrily screams and you realize why you are listening to the song in the first place. The overall aggression combined with the weird breakdown and Shinoda sung through bridge make for a very cool and interesting song.

            "Wretches and Kings" has the best intro. This is due to the Mario Salvo sampled interview played at the beginning. This song also has the best overall feel to it. You have Shinoda rapping his thought provoking flows, Chester aggresively singing his meaty choruses, heavily digitalized synth/guitar and an old school Rap beat. Asking for more would be an exercise in futility. The song also ends well with more Salvo samples and a turntable show compliments of Mr. Hahn. 

            "Iridescent" has a very creepy feel to it in the intro then becomes a little happier in the verses, which are sang by Shinoda oddly enough. The happiest part is perhaps the again extremely catchy chorus sung by Chester. This seems to have become standard practice for LP. The choir and guitar that comes serging in at the end is a very nice touch. This song, much like the rest of the album, progressively builds the entire time. Very nicely done boys.

            "The Catylist" is another prime example of the constant buildup we just talked about. You can also use this song to perfectly define the album as a whole. I will just say it for you "The Catalyst" is A Thousand Suns. Shinoda and Chester are in rare form in this song. The song climaxes twice with Chester screaming "...Where ocean's bleed into the sky!..." at the tip top of his vocal range and then climaxes again when Chester screams "Lift me up! Let me go!" It is just such a perfect song for Linkin Park to do. It was an obvious choice for the first single and the video for it is quite mezmerizing if you will let your self get into it. I suggest watching it on the biggest TV you can find and turning the surround sound all the way up.

            If every song on this album was a buildup intro to "The Messenger" that would be fine with me. This song, which is all acoutic guitar, piano and voice for the majority of the song is EASILY the best song on the album. Chester's voice is supremely sublime on this song. It vastly highlights both his abilities and range as a singer. It really does send chills up your spine. Amazing song.

            In closing I have to complain about the lack of guitar...and for that matter the rest of the band as well. This seemed like a Chester/Shinoda album more than anything else. I believe that they could have done it all by themselves and I am sure they probably did do most of it by themselves. At any rate they did a good job of it. I would like to add that this particular album was an easy one to review due primarily to the fact that it was a completely epic album. I tend to enjoy those alot more. Also, my rating is based solely on my complaints twoards this album. I have none for the band.

***1/2

            The bottom line is it made me love LP all over again. So much so that I am probably gonna have to see them in concert. I recomend you doing the same.